It's the Love that i can't forget.

Did you heard the news??

Raya is in 1 day time. So exciting!! hahaha. I donno why, but I'm looking forward to this year raya. Haha. Its like I feel satisfied with my endurance and perserverence in this one month of fasting. Its like I've test myself to the limits.

Physical training was hard with runs of at least 5 km, staircase climbing of atleast 100 floors. I fall sick. Had diarrhoea. Went through all kind of crap. Workplace was a warzone. With reservations hitting 50 pax just to break fast. Serving them the food and they had an enjoyable breakfast, while me and other colleague work hard to make them happy before had our proper dinner 30 mins later.

Eventhough I went through alot of hardcore trouble, the best thing is that I met a person who always brighten up my day. Rain or shine, warm or cold. Mum always said that the fasting month is the month that will be special. I donno. What I know is that her presence is a great feeling.

I hope that when Ramadhan leaves us, things will be as if it never leaves.

So yeah. Got all my raya stuff ready. Haircut, baju raya, perfume, haha. This raya will be fun.

I feel so blessed and great to be able to rot at home. Yeah. Practically sit at home and do nothing. Roll on my bed from left to right and left again.

Well actually been pretty tired due to late night sleep. I was hangging on the telephone line from the moment I reach yishun after work on Fri night all the way till 3am in the morning. I was sitting at the corner of the kitchen that my brother thought I was like a drug addict sitting and curling up and enjoy every puff of marijuana. Well I got addicted to her voice and she is my weed. Like duh!. And he practically annouce my doings to the family when breaking fast as if what I did was a crime. Can't he shut up?

Oh well. He is in a world of his own. Filling up his car stomach is much more important than his own fat one.

Anyhow. Spending Saturday with the family is so precious to me. Even if my dad asking me help on his excel file got me quite irritated. He wants me to help, yet he gives directions as if he knows. If you know do it la. And my brother, another NATO. Got so fed up that I told him to do it if he knows so much. My dad told him off by saying, "you know nothing" hahaha

So I was enjoying myself with junkies entering my mouth. After breaking fast of course. I don't know whether my fast was accepted or not due to some reason in the morning.

I think I'm going to bed early cos tomorrow will be a long daay at work. Loonggg Loonggg day. But I think it won't be busy, except for those who are not F1 enthusiast to come in and dine. I'm so going to miss F1. The cars are super slick la. And Ferari got the first slot in the starting line. weeee. But I'm sure its going to be tough. During qualifying round many cars got bailed out due to some mishaps. So wave the checked flag girls!!

"If you always want something so badly, go get it. Even if there are people to stop you, you can overcome those people to achieve what you always wanted. Because at the end of the day, those people do not give your goals, it is you."

These are the words I advice to young kids that do not know what to do. Especially when they are down. Encouraging them that impossible is nothing. Giving them hope that they will achieve it. Without me knowing, one of her dream is me.

HUH??ME??!!

Oookkaayyy...

So here I am. In a state whether what I did was right? Am I justified on my doings?? What went so awfully wrong here??????? Damn.

Ok. Back to basic. If you are reading this. Lets be friends first aits? But do not put high hopes on me. And I certainly do not want to be blame!! My advice to you, you win some and you lose some. Stop being greedy!!

Finally. The are someone who is brave enough to show the world what malays are becoming. These are the vids. I hope you got the message about the "hot" trends of the malay youths and young adults in Singapore.

REALITY ZAI: IMPRESSIONS OF A QUEER BLOGGER / DANCER

REALITY ZAI : MAT AND MINAH IMPRESSIONS. Ver 1.0

I hope you have a good understanding now. And also a great time laughing your ass off!!

I don't know where had you place your attitude? Somewhere up there in your brains? or somewhere down where it stinks?

You had been blessed with a beauty near perfection. A gift that no one can have unless approved by Him. But then, why with the vulgarities?

Is it cool to say those words when what you are wearing represents something so pure? What will the others think of you? Won't you be ashamed? Well You SHOULD. If you are not ashamed of yourself, guess what? I AM ASHAMED OF YOU!!

Look yourself in the mirror and reflect on yourself.

Believe it or not. I'm having menses like literally.

For the past few days, it was really a test on my fasting, Not because of the temptation of food or greed or lust. However, I fell horribily sick. The worst thing is 2 sickness back to back. Fasting still goes on.

First sickness was fever. I had a tremendous fever when I reach home on tues. Actually I do not know what really the cause of the fever. As I reach home from school, I straight dive onto the sofa to have my 40 winks before breaking fast. Resting after a hard day at school. When its time to break fast, I woke up and the body tempreture went sky high. It went so high that stream of steam can be seen gushing out from my ears. It was frightening man.

To prevent from dehydration, I drank like a lake of water. I didn't even touch my food as sambal sotong was the main dish of the day. Eating something red and spicy will break my thermostat got myself cook, as so I thought.

Then I went to finish up my work, but since my head having a large scale earthquake, I cannot even think of the best thing to write on my reflection journal. So I continue sleeping on my sofa, before the sofa went hot and expanded I think. It fits me perfectly without the need to curl my body. But it went to hot that I went to sleep on the floor which is much cooler. But still, it went hot. The best thing is that I slept as if I got fainted. Everything around me was so messy. The TV control, my laptop, my bottle of water. Its like a murder scene only without the blood. And I slept till the next day.

Without having my breakfast and still fasting I dragged myself to school. The tremours in my head still moving and the tempreture still rocket high. I went to school to cool myself down. Republic Polytechnic is like the freezer. It is so cooling cold. I save energy by not relying on the aircon at home nor the fan. But dragging myself to school is like pulling a lorry. Time moves so fast and I was so far behind. Reach school, the tremours getting harder as the problem statement have the warning sign "Warning, Earthquake in head ahead!" First two meetings was a drag! I did not really contribute much and if I got a poor grade I deserve it. BOO!!

During lunch break, Met up with Izza. And guess what, after that meeting, my head feels lighter. She got this magical healing power surrounding her or something. Just having her around makes my sickness go away. Maggggggggggiiiiiiiiiicccccccccc. The tremours went down, my body got cooler. Maybe she got some ulti that heals. (PS: IZZA jangan nak kembang!!)

Reach home after school and was welcome with stomach ache and frequent visit to the toilet. Crazy man. It was as if I was having menses. I was hit with diarrhea. Goodness!! I wasn't alone though. My sister and mum also got it. They looked like living zombie. How horrid it was. Food poisoning in my house. But wait. My father and elder brother did not get it and they are the food chomper. How ironic.

I suspect that the sambal goreng was the one that goes around and vandalise our digestive system. Damn you sambal goreng. You look really nice with the prawns and beancurd. But then you misuse the trust that was given to you! I hope you die in the incinerator!

OK. Some personal updates.

One of my uncle past away 2 days ago due to some sickness I was not aware off. I was having fever thus did not visit him for the last time. May your soul be bless.

Another update. I got my first A for the second semester. Woohooo

Wasting Time. Blink 182.

I'm wasting time thinking about a girl
And stealing her away from her world
She and I would run away
I think of all the things that I'd say

We'd talk about important things
And I picture it in my dreams
She'd teach me about modern art
And I'd show her it's okay to fart and

Maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Remembering how she laughed at Kinko's
When I made fun of that guy
Remebering the look she gave me
When I told her that I used to fry

I really want to ask her out
But my ego could never take it
And even if I got the balls
You know that the Cougar would never make it

And in my town you can't drive naked

And maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Wasting my time thinking about a girl

According to my watch, its 415 am. I am wide awake thanks the big bang of my guitar that fell to the floor. Making a "Ke-Bang!!" which I thought the beginning of World War 3. Luckily I didn't panicked or I could hit my head on the metal grill right above my head.

How un panic I was when my guitar dropped. I used to have this thinking that when you cherished and take good care of your musical instrument, your musical instrument will awesomely beautiful. That is why Slash is one of the living legend of Guitar Heros.

Eventhough my eyes and mind were awaken to the "OMG" I was still lazying around my bed as though I was paralyzed. Did anyone poisoned me with lactic acid? Oh wait. I got to search for injection marks.

Ok none.

So as I was saying, my whole body was jam. Eventhough I was fast, really fast, asleep before even 9.30pm last night, while watching King Kong. That giant ape was too slow to appear that I figured that I could easily teleport myself to Skull Island and met him personally. I was hoping to have a picture with him and coming back home showing to mum that I took pictures with the REAL King-Kong. Mum had a photo of me and my elder brother taking a photo with "King-Kong" that was on tour to Singapore decades ago. When I realise that I was fast asleep.

Mum always talk about King-Kong as if he was our family pet. Talking about how gigantic he was and how his magnificant strength and power is able to move mountain and destroy buildings with his pinky fingers. Mum's favourite moment of her life was to take photo of King-Kong with her little "King-Kongs".

I obviously do not want to have a King Kong as a pet. Especially during the fasting month. He would surely gobble down all the food on the table when it is time to break fast. What was left will be clean and clear plates. And imagine when we had to feed him bananas all the time. My mum would change the family to all with bananas. Imagine having sweet sour bananas, Banana Rice, Fried Banana with Soy Sauce, Banana Curry. I'm sure going bananas.

My childhood would not even be great. My toys will be broken every now and then. And my Playstation would be into the Dumpstation when King Kong lose to King Kong in the virtual world. When venting his anger to anything he can grab hold off, I will be living in a house of destruction. Where everything had been destroy.

What would destroy a boy the most? When his pet is getting way too much attention than its owner. I would have to bear with excessive flash lights and amusment from the public who saw my pet King-Kong. King Kong here and there. He is in the lime light while the owner is standing in King-KOng shadow. Awww. So sad.

OK. My handphone alarm is up and it acts like a family alarm clock for sahur.

Its Friday!! 3 days after school reopens. 5 days after fasting month started.

Since the start of this new season, changes are here affecting my life.

New class with new environment and people. They are actually a great bunch of people. Its just that the ice have not really melt. Once it melt I am sure that it will be chaotic. Well maybe not as chaotic as my W26J. But we see how. Since it is the start of the new sem. Lets start shaking hands for the guys and say good morning when the next person come into class. Lets make a CULTURE!! I hope that the others will follow to. Then the class will bond together.

Ok next thing that is happening now is that I am changing my working schedule to weekends. Strictly on weekends. No more weekdays. I dowant to commit myself to work as I got better things to do. Yeah. And I want the workplace to know that I'm not tied to them. Another reason is that I will be very tempted to eat when I work because I am a "rat" at work. As I cook, I eat. So when fasting start, I donno whether I can prevent the temptation. Have faith Hafiz. You can if you believe. Hahaha.

So this is the time for me to acheive something I had been missing out for so long. But I donno where to start. Can somebody help me please. I need a helping hand. I dowan to lose out anymore. PLEASSEEE....