o_0

The price of maturity.

2009-10-02T02:43:00.002+08:00

"I expect you to be much more matured than the rest of your peeps here, just because you are older than them." Those were the last few words that I received from Ma'am Fye at work. Apparently my last time talking to her before she got to go to some other outlet. And those words i holding it near to my heart. Knowing that there are part of me that need to improve on. Like being less tempermental and showing a good and leading example to the rest of the peeps.

But what if being cool headed got you into amidst of unhappy people. And to be blame for the outburst of the attacker. Controlling my self destructing devil in me with a smile as I faced with my attacker. Got pushed on the chest any yet not laying a single finger on his body. I was cool calm and smiling. Managed to control the tempermental side of me.

As young thinking adult, i know that by giving him the punch on his face would just end up in a fist fight that eventually end up in bandages in the hospital. That's if when i got attacked by "blood brothers". So I just give that smirk and had the evil laugh. Is playing games with the mind the cause of these commotion or is it because of the sharp and sarcastic tongue that cloud cut the treshold of a person into half. Mind games are the best way to pissed people off.

But then again, when mind games leads into determine the physical strength, is it mind games fault that one temper rise 100 times more? or is it because of poor anger management that makes one to shout and fight or does it because he felt a sense of fear and uncertainties that results the mind to fight, thats when the adrenaline starts to rush. Is it mind games fault?

Then again, being cool headed, why is it that I am to blame when I got attacked? is it worth to be cool headed and being mature and wise to settle a conflict with talks and peace treaty when the one got attacked is to be blame?

There are still a long way to learn and reach a point of maturity. Before Nirvana.

Thru good times or bad

2009-08-11T00:12:00.001+08:00

thru good times or bad, you are still my number one,
there is no other girl that could really shine,
with yr laughter and smile that linger in my mind
there is no one else in this heart of mine
but when things go bad and grey
and sorry is not the word I'm suppose say
there is nothing i want more but you girl
cos you are my everything, my world

just like the sun shinning the gloomy days
brighten up the day and chase away the dark
when flowers really blooms
bringing colours to life
that what you mean to me
thats how you are important to me

if you think i'm sweet talking to you
then I got to say this
all the words I said is true
this i promise you
I'll do anything just for you
as I got nothing else to lose
but only

you

back.

2009-08-03T00:01:00.002+08:00

Sorry for being Haitus for a month now.

In the last post, i told you ablout the project that I'm in now ryt. I've been busy doing non productive stuff like FACEBOOK-ing that these projects are behind schedule. crap.

Anyway, I miss going out with NUR IZZATI BINTE JUMARI. She's apparently also have a hectic weeks with high fever and NDPs.

Going out with her to town last Friday was great la. Those were the Fridays that I would say"Thank God its Friday". Nyahaha. "A typical friday", a friend of mine would say. Cos that was the day that I impromptu-ly asked her to accompany me to town to get my Ipod repaired.

But then kan, they don't do repairs to Ipod.They only do one to one exchange with the new unt but additional of $147.

So apelagi, since we were already in town, we window shop la. Walk around wheellock, then the the latest Ion. that place was HUMONGOUS la. And we walk walk walk, try try try, see see see but never buy buy buy. HAHA. SAVE MONEY for something later.

cos in my mind I was looking out for the new MAN UTD Jersey.

Yeahhh!!! And I got it at the NIKE SHOP at wisma atria for only $99. Its a replica. The decision to get it was so tough uh. First was the size. a battle between M and S. In the fitting room was a decision by raising both my hands up and turning round and round infront of the mirror. AND also have my wonderful girlfriend for her opinion. If you asked her how long I took to decide, I bet she would tell you that she can walk around the 2 storey shop 3 times!! haha xD

After that, we went to cineleisure and and someone call this creature

Dokumo. hehe. OKOK. I'll Hush about it. *mampos nanti kene CUBIT*

HAHA!!

Friday was the great with her. She made my day =D.

Projects Projects Projects!

2009-07-05T08:04:00.002+08:00

Hi all. How are you?

Firstly sorry for not updating. Been happily Facebooking.

Anyway. Been busy few initiating and completing a few projects of mine. School work and other school stuff. Personal stuff too. So yeah. Been busy lately.

I hope I could finish 3 of these projects by end of this month. These 3 projects are:

PP
TP
Training tee.

And then, upcoming projects I'm looking at is a charity gig. I was thinking of getting a few great bands to come up with a gig that for the children. All profit will be donated to these children to have a better tomorrow. I'm looking at either those children that needs medical attention and treatment or the children society.

Another project i'm looking forward is fund raising for mountaineering IG. Need to raise a lot of funds so that we can go expedition in extreme confidence. Some events had already planned out and waiting for approval. The cost of equipment is not cheap and preparing for an expedition is time consuming and expensive. But if this is to create awareness that the world is more than just tall buildings and we can face and conquer our fears and ourselves, it is worth it.

Another project I'm looking forward to do is NERDIZ. I and a couple of my friends thought of creating a t-shirt label company a couple of years ago. Now, I realise the opportunity of the shirt label and how it could be greatly expand. Cannot wait to see it bloom!.

Oh yeah. I missed today's 8.01 because I overslept! Wasted.

haiii

2009-06-14T03:12:00.002+08:00

MR Sand man is late again like usual. Donno how many bags of sand he owes me.

Anyway, school hols is going to end soon. Back to juggling many things again. Woo

But I found inner peace and serenity. Calm and peaceful.

TP in a months time!! WOHOOO

give some of your love

2009-06-01T04:54:00.004+08:00

Hi people.

This blog had been rotting for some time now. Now to blow all the dust away...*AHH-CHOO!!*

Maybe the first question I would ask myself is, "How's life?"

Life is cool with things coming up. It had been the most jam packed of my life. Committments that I had to juggle and new ones just keep coming. Of course the usual datelines that I have to meet. Projects after projects.

But please people. No matter how busy you are with life, always remember to give some of your time to family, and love ones. Because you never know what will happen next.

Two of my friends had past away and it was a shocking one. One because of a road accident, another was from a disease. Even though I only spent 3 months with them, that does not mean they are not remembered. Three months of running,marchings, endless push ups and 316 jumping jacks. Those were the days my friends. Days that we wanted to end so quickly, but it last a lifetime.

So peeps, do take care of yourself alryt. I'm going off for ALPs camp for 4 days. Do miss me. if you do gimme a call. I change my number. 8371****. haha. check my facebook if you want to know.

if you guys are free...

2009-05-03T10:47:00.000+08:00

Take this quiz.

http://apps.facebook.com/quizdoyouknowme/take_quiz.jsp?q=714999&key=TCHZ

Full score will get a surprise =)

Why am I just pretending?

2009-04-26T02:00:00.003+08:00

"Please don't remind me

Put your past behind me

It shines so bright it blinds me

I wish that this would end."

Online Song, Blink 182

BLAHH.

Check Yes Juliet.

2009-04-11T02:41:00.002+08:00

eh yo eh yo people =]

How everybody is feeling? I hope you've been great. Me too. This holiday was a holiday well spent for me compared to many holidays I've been. Alot of things happen and it is just great to serve the people and also taking charge of my life =)

A week left till school reopens and the final week will be also packed with work, volunteering events, lessons and Jamming session. Chill out with best friends and buddies till the wee hours. And my mum is furious with my time at home. I'm practically using the home as a hotel to sleep. Geess.

That what she told me when I went home from jamming with SIP and then get ready to Sharan's 21st party. My dad only said "take care of yourself". And while walking to the MRT station, I can't help it but to wonder, is my dad advising me or give me a warning?

"take good care of yourself"

As an advise: He meant in a good way. To look out for oncoming traffic and don't get yourself in an accident. If you want to let your devil horns out, do not let it caused a great consequences for eg, getting trouble with the law and don't be a father before reaching 22.

As a warning: Watch out, somebody is looking at you. One wrong move and you are dead son. MUAHHAHAHAHA.

Shees..that scary. Imagine if there is a group of people spying you. Watching every single actions you made. If your best friends are not really yr friend but a secret agent wanting to know yr next move. And events like birthday party are actually a scenario set up just to see how you react and socialise. Imagine if you are the subject. The lab rat. The guinea pig. And the world is set up. All the things you see are not real. Not the truth.

Would you still want it that way or the truth? But then again, can you really handle the truth?

OK, I'll stop scarying you with my nonsense.

I got an upcoming gig at the arthouse at 7 pm on somewhere middle of may. Tix at $8. Interested pls do PM me.

Songs we will be playing are: Check Yes Juliet (We the kings) Rock show (Blink 182) Dammit(Blink 182) Holiday(Greenday) Lemon Tree-Punk cover(Fools Garden).

Any other request of songs let me know =)

3 Cs

2009-04-04T03:46:00.002+08:00

Car, condo, cash
chocolates, chocolates, chocolates
Not all those stuff.
Committment, committment, committment.

Been busy these few days. Running all over the small island to make ends meet. Not really la. Alot of committment to handle that I didn't have time for myself. School. ALPS. Work. License.Friends. Love. Music

Its nothing i'm bragging about or complaining. All these things are the things I love to do. I'm finally busy with something other then sitting at home and make my parents proud by growing fat. My mum will be proud as she thinks her cooking is way better than eating outside. =)

Busy busy busy. Its ok. I prefer to serve others first before myself. Sounds like a true leadership skills eh Mr Shackleton? hahaha.

Ni ways. Happy days to all of you. See you guys around!

Hafiz Been PUNK'D

2009-03-26T22:48:00.001+08:00

Thankz to ALPS geng for the Punk'D!

Vroom-vroom

2009-03-19T01:55:00.005+08:00

Heh! I know I just started with my class 2B license. But the thought of passing the test, and get my first bike is such an over-whelming one. Especially when I dream of riding a scrambler when I just started to master riding bicycle. hehe.

So here are some of the selections:

Yamaha TW 200

KTM 200EXC

Suzuki DR200 SEYamaha WR 200

Cool huh. Wanna know what is even cooler?? Check this out

I'll see you guys on the dirt!

tired of it already

2009-03-17T00:20:00.002+08:00

Gloomy days. Oh well since its pouring outside my window now. 2 more weeks of gloomy days.

Can someone help me look at the bright side? EMBRACE THE ELEMENTS!!

Yeah, what can I do during a Gloomy and Rainy DAYS?

I can't go for my runs. Gym? heh.
I dowan to go for my bike pract cos I dowan to be wet and cold.
I can't go outdoors.
I miss the sun.
I miss sunshine.

What can I do indoor and don't spent a single cent?

I'm just sitting at home.
Playing on Facebook.
Lying on my bed.
Sleep sleep sleep.
Eat eat eat.
playing the same tune on my guitar.

I'm getting bored.
Getting tired of hoping and wishing.
Getting tired of disappointment.

I want to be a workaholic.
AGAIN!
Work and forget about the world.
Forget about everything.
Forget that it is raining outside.

Gloomy Days Ahead.

2009-03-14T12:12:00.002+08:00

Don't ask why.

BANG

2009-03-07T10:20:00.004+08:00

What a way to start my 21st year when I got into an accident. I was having my motorcycle practical lesson when a lady lost control of her bike and hit me from behind. I fell with my bike landed on my left foot. Not to worry cos I suffered only minor scratches on my left foot.

Since then my day was a bangging good time!

Went out with Izza and had our lunch at Breeks MS. Ate a scumptous meal and I got 20% off. Staff discount! haha. Then just spend time with her at Esplanade and Marina Square.

After sending her home, I called and met FARHAN! Like always, he chill out at Punggol while waiting for Haqim. Then we went Yishun to chill while Haqim picked Yaya up. We chilled infront of the trash collection point. Haha. We talked about bikes, catching up with our lives. Its been 3 weeks since I've met him. Then we met up with Haqim again.

Farhan CRAZY IDEA, like usual, want me to ride the m/bike. He told me where to go. So picking up the challenge, push down the bike from the slope to the road, start the engine and off we go. At the junction while turning to the left, I pull down the throttle too hard that it was heading towards the road divider. Wanting to avoid it, i made a turn to the left and TIMBER!! we fell to the left. And once again my left leg got pinned by the bike. Suffered some laceration on my knee and ankle. But the fall was a funny one. Haha. The taxi behind us was just looking at us and I just waved at him. Luckily there was no police patrol around that area cos 300m away from us is the Police station. haha.

I fall off from a m/bike 2 times in a day. What a pleasant surprise!

We had our supper at McD and off we went back home.

Anyway, I would like to give my gratitude to everyone that wished me Happpy Birthday. =)
And I'm sorry for the SG gang that i was unable to meet up with you peeps as I was with the Jackass.

SO now I'm an adult. OMG!

Coming of Age

2009-03-05T08:03:00.002+08:00

As days passed us by, we tend to learn about some people's life experiences. And what more is that during this gloomy days, even those in the government sector is not spare from a secured job that they think they have. It made everyone to fight for the position and those who did not meet Boss demand will be eliminated from the hot seat without any sense of mercy.

For me, I have been learning about this for almost 2 years and everyday there are worst things to come. This world is filled with smart humans and competition is always here with us. It goes with the saying "Only the strongest will survive". So how are we able to survive in a very competitive environment?

My only solution that I can think of is going independent.

I too have some dreams.

I have been holding on to an opportunity for a long time. A fool-proof one too. I'm not sure whether I am strong enough to walk all the way up and reach the summit.

Big Bad Boy in a Big Bad World

2009-02-28T03:40:00.002+08:00

I have been a big bad boy lately.

Life is back per normal after Kerinchi Expedition.

But..

I am having wishful thinking that is achievable. My problem is I do not know where to start.

No. I know where to start but I am just PLAIN LAZY. period.

"We'll do it again"

7 hrs

2009-02-17T00:38:00.002+08:00

7 hrs till i get on the plan and go for a week lond expedition.

So long peeps. Have fun while I'm away. Cos I will be having fun!

Kerinchi! Here I ccccccccccooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeee

MUACKZ!

The fight is still on.

2009-02-15T04:47:00.004+08:00

And you thought I would stop and stare? Crying over the bleeding wounds? Give up and admit losing? After the pnching and blowing I went through.

Think again.

I'm fighting back.

The finale.

2009-02-13T20:25:00.002+08:00

One question.

Why can't you accept my imperfection like how I accept yours.

Don't bother reading again. I've moved.

iRock

2009-02-12T01:35:00.003+08:00

iPod + Hafiz = iRock

People say that you are your own enemy. True. Only you can bring yourself down.

I say, you are your own Rock Band. You set your beat, your music and how loud the fans will be screaming!!

Positive-mindedness got me through a lot further than I thought. But it won't work if I didn't put in the actions.

I face the music that I play. And I play Rock

I am imperfect.

2009-02-10T21:11:00.002+08:00

I am imperfect.
I am not the perfect guy for you.
It felt so wrong yet it felt so right.
I give in.
I lost.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Brain detergent

2009-02-10T02:00:00.003+08:00

Anybody knows where I can get some of this??

I'm still lingering with the past. Those rotten past. Argh! I can't seem to move on even when I'm moving. I would still slot some bits of the past.

Wondering. Reminising. Hoping.

No point. Its useless.

Its been awhile (Random!)

2009-02-07T16:21:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not updating for a while.

Well actually there is nothing to update about..

School close. We'll be on vacation till April. For now I'm just spending my days at work or at home or with someone close.

10 more days for Kerinchi Expedition. I donno what to expect, but I bet it would be better than Tahan!!

I'm kida sad to those who are unable to join the climb this time round especially to Atiqq who had went for an eye surgery..But she is doing quite well now. And I bet she is getting better. =)

hmmm...

Oh, my mum had been baby sit another neighbour child. Wahhh!! He is so naughty? haha. He would grab my legs and do not let me go out from my house to work. But he is cute la..

Oh-oh!! I need to set my goals and piorities. I feel that there is a change in myself and I need to set it so that I am clear on my destiny.

This week I've been to the mosque twice and I felt so in touch with my spiritual side. Every single word that they preach kinda amazed me and got me thinking (well there are some that I dont understand what they are talking and I end up building my own castle). I got to admit that my spiritual side is at the all time loww.

Okok..Got to go and meet Izza!!

Keep Smiling!!

I Miss You

2009-01-31T03:07:00.005+08:00

"Don't waste your time on me, You're already the voice inside my head"
I Miss You - Blink 182

25 stripped naked things about me

2009-01-29T08:27:00.006+08:00

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

People thought I wear a very expensive Puma watch that cost more than $180 while I got it at RM10. hehe. Talking about spending cheap yet stylish. Hahahaha

I got my driving license for FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Thanks for all your taxes, You just get yourself a new road rash driver, i mean racer =)

I'm a low profile guy. My girlfriends makes me popular.

My ambition was to be a doctor. I'm not even qualified to be a nurse!!!

I like to search for golds in my nose.

My Handphone bill this month is $140

I have always been working in the F&B line. This time I'm working at Breeks Cafe Causewaypoint. Don't look for me for discounts =P

I fall in love with guitar hero!! The first time I played it, I knew that it was love at first button

I listen to Ska, Punk rock, metal, rock & roll, emo, indonesia rock, trash, and old skool music.

I want to be a rock star \m/

I want to try bungee jumping, sky diving and twisting and turning not for the faint hearted roller-coster!!!

I'm not water confidence. I can swim but I got tired easily and once I got panic thats it. bloob-bloob

I laugh when people laugh. Just do not want to be left out.

I love to hang out at places with calming waters. Like the Esplanade, jetties, dams, beaches and the latest favourite, Marina Barrage. Its a must go there place. Really!

A 20 years old virgin.

A fan of Manchester United FC. They just owned!!!

i'm counting how many more things I have to write.........

18 years old, many people first impression on me is that I'm 18....

I got my own recording of my own original song. Not release bcos it sucks

I'm climbing mountains. You peeps cannot believe it ryttt..haha.. If everything goes well I'm going Nepal in 6 months time.
My childhood favourite hero is Batman. I just love his dark and mysterious manner and bringing justice to Gotham City.
And I used to call batman "Mak-mak" when i was a small little kid
I am a fan of Michael Jackson because of his sleek moves and curly hair.
And I adore his curly hair so much that when I was a boy, I twirl my hair so that it can be curly like his.
It took me 3 nights to complete this. Thank you Sharan!

So thats 25 random things about me.

"Looking forward" to work

2009-01-29T00:15:00.003+08:00

I'll be away from blogging for these few days.

Not going anywhere but busy working.

There are some things to settle.

There will always be.

Too much things that I'm neglecting those precious ones.

If I could only see your face today,

tomorrow,

everyday.........

I miss you super duper badly =(

debate

2009-01-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

I had a debate with my mother earlier today. The topic was "Why people will streotype a musician after he had done his pilgrimage?".

I was the defendant. The debate had a good build up that I can see that my mum just do not want to lose after she keep repeating the same old reason with her volume increase. haha.

Her point was

Musician makes music that entertain and makes people lost track of time for prayers
they play at a bad reputation place (etc night club )
people who had done pilgrimage are suppose to be pious and holy

My point was

Musician are not to be blame for the audience to lost track of time for prayers. Your life your responsibility(taken from dengue advertisment)
there are other place to play other then nightclubs
even if they had done pilgrimage whats wrong with them doing what they like?
If music does make people to lose track of time for prayers, isn't playing game does the same thing?

What's your point of view??

2009-01-25T22:18:00.003+08:00

Wishing everyone a prosperous CNY! Its the year of the Ox ryt?? So may this year we all bull-ing around!

CNY, school hols and the first thing that comes to a normal youth is ENJOY! I think I'm not a normal youth, cos I have to work more than 12 hrs everyday, train harder and the only time I have for myself is on the bed snoozing....

My cough is getting worse every single time. I almost vomit late last night because of the cough. It was really bad. Today at work it wasn't that bad la. The moment I step in the house there goes the coughing like mad cow diseases with a throat infection.

Thats it. I'm not meeting GF this whole week. How great.

Drained....

2009-01-22T00:06:00.004+08:00

Everyday, there must be something after school. Its not the end of the week but I'm drained for sure. Drained like my balls had been suck dry and there is nothing left to be proud of. Hah! Super-duper tired. And my days are packed till Monday.
CNY!
HangBao!!!!!
ya ya ya....as if I'll get one.
So i'm free on Monday and Tuesday. Anyone wants to make a date with me?? =)

LAzzzYYY..

2009-01-21T14:59:00.002+08:00

2 more days to end of Year 1. Wow. How time flies when you are having fun.

So here I am sitting down here typing and listening to the presentation at the same time. Other than getting a diploma, I picked up skill to listen to the presentation and type without looking at my keyboard! haha.

So lazy. End of hard work. Now to play hard. Haha. Dota Dota Dota. I need to learn the new map and some new heroes.

Bahhhh..

LAZZZYYY

I think I'm chao-ing tmrw lesson, and go for a date???

hahaha.

I <3 You!

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

2009-01-17T11:47:00.005+08:00

Steve Jobs. CEO of Apple and Pixar animation. Inspiring!

Rayuan Gombal

2009-01-13T06:37:00.001+08:00

Rayuan Gombal - 6ixth Sense

Cross country with The Jackasses

2009-01-13T06:10:00.006+08:00

From Yishun to Pasir Ris via SLE, TPE
PAsir Ris to Jurong East via PIE
Jurong East to Bukit Timah via PIE
Bukit Timah to Marina Barrage via AYE, ECP
Marina Barrage to Yishun via CTE, SLE.
Starting time 4 pm. Ending time 11pm!

Where to next?

Down and Out.

2009-01-13T05:33:00.002+08:00

It all started with a pain at the back of my left ribs. No sign of bruise or cut or stratch. I don't remember getting hit, cut or scratch there. I have difficulty in breathing and it hurts when I laugh. My diagnosis, muscle sore. I think i use that muscle when i went swimming with the Jackasses.

Then, Mr Irritating came to pay a visit. I was very irritated that my team mates wasn't helping enough for the problem. I know its tedious, but put in effort can. I hate people doesn't take in the initiative or doing their best. I kept my cool and finish up my work.

I decided not to go for training and went home after the ALPs briefing about the upcoming expedition to kerinchi. I'm not taking the risk to hurt myself even more. But getting hurt was inevitable. Jealousy kicks in and yada, yada, yada. Not gonna elaborated about it.

My body wasn't feeling too good neither. I was in pain with the muscle sore, stomach gone haywire, there is a riot in my head. That have not include irritating and jealousy.

And why does the wind nowadays so chilling? I got to wear 3 layer of clothes. A t-shirt, jacket and to top it off, a windbreaker with hoodies and I still can feel the chill. But it is good enough to keep the warmth to the core of my body.

I hate cold. Period.

Imperfection.

2009-01-11T09:09:00.002+08:00

All the time we just wish that we have the perfect everything. Everything in this world. The perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect job and most importantly the perfect person that walks with you through your entire perfect life together.

However, it is inevitable to have imperfection. Nothing in this world is perfect (different people different perspective doesn't apply here). So are we still going to be sad or unhappy to have what we have even if they are not perfect?

Imagine in a situation where your love ones was convict. He/she may done her time in prison and had faced the consequences. And knowing her deepest secret just made you feel that he/she is imperfect. What happen then? Leave him/her and find someone better? Even after he/she plays a big part of your life?

I wonder how many of us can look at imperfection perfectly? How many of us can accept the life as what it is? How many of us really understand love and respect?

Neither am I such a perfect person. But i'm learnung to accept imperfections and flaws.

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but bylearning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -- Sam Keen

Holiday mood

2009-01-08T13:09:00.002+08:00

Holiday mood. Still am. Never ending. Lazy to do work. After a month, of holiday. nice. I think I left my brain in Indonesia. Haha.

So here I am in class being physically present and did nothing to contribut to the collaborative learning. haha. Bored la. Why must RP have to squeeze in a 3 weeks break and then another 3 weeks of school befor 10 weeks of vacation. I think I'll just scrape through this final school period.

I need to start working my ass off. NOW NOW NOW HAFIZ!!!

I have to start serious training, and serious fund raising.

=)

Thank you 2008, Hello 2009 with Pics

2009-01-04T21:51:00.001+08:00

I would like to take some time now to give my gratitude to those involve in my life in 2008.

First of all, I would like to thank the Almighty that had given me strength to keep moving on with alot of Ups and Downs.

Going back to school is not that bad afterall after more than 2 years in the working world. In fact, with my working world attitude placed in my school, it makes school time so easy. And Poly life. I just loving it.

A special gratitude to Hazri for helping me alot when i'm in trouble and need seek help. He was there to help out in school matters and made me feel at home in school. With him also, I manage to get a job that can help with my personal finance. With him also, I found new friends regarded as brothers and sisters, basically, the SG family (Jannah, Noreen, Zul, Is, An, Man, Yaty and Fidah, Nadia).

Next special gratitude is to Team ALPs. Thank you for the opportunities to be at the outdoor. Its rare for me to be under the sun or star gazing at night. So be able to be somewhere I love with bros and sis in arms is great. Without them, I would already given up and I won't be able to watch the sun rise at 2000m high and above. Thank you Jane and Abg David for sharing this opportunity with me and the gang! Together we will climb higher!

Next is class mates of w26J and W26R. thank you for making life in RP so fun and enjoyable. Lessons would be boring without your nonsense. And I may not be able to cope with studies. without you, my grades won't be this good.

Next on the list is my family. The dearest. Thank you mum and dad for your unconditional support and love. Your son had been going home late. And when he reach home you were sleeping. When I woke up for school, you may already left for work(dad) or still sleeping(mum). I do not want to be a burden to you both, and I do not want you to be worried. As long i'm able to do whatever I can to survive.

To Ms Sunshine who had shown light in my heart again. The time I spent getting to know you is the best time I ever had. Listening to your never ending stories, your hopes and dreams. Even when there was a moment to give up on you, I'm glad that I didn't because It would be a waste.

Lastly to all my friends and people who had walk this year with me. Thank you for your support.

2009!
My resolution: keep smiling =)

next stop: Mt Kerinci

2008-12-29T23:28:00.002+08:00

"the highest volcano in Indonesia, and the highest peak in Sumatra(3805m).
Kerinci is more active than most Indonesian volcanoes, with nearly annual phreatic eruptions. Kerinci last erupted in 2004, and continues to spew clouds of sulphurous smoke, with plumes reaching as high as 1,000 m (3,281 ft) above the summit"

extract from :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Kerinci

Ok so officially, training started today with strength circuit. Honestly speaking, I SUCK! seriously. Ok knowing that I wasn't feeling well this morning. Even when I'm excited about today's training. After the first set, body fluids were flowing nonstop, like a water tap that had a loose head. Fluids from all the holes were like flowing like high tide. And for a moment, my lungs were giving up on me. Like balloons with holes. I swear I did not touch a stick of cigerrette for a month!!
Suspect that I wasn't having any breakfast and my eating habits is getting lesser is the main problem. I wasn't having enough water and I still yet to recover from flu and cough. I was adding to the pain by eating chocolates. And also a dusty home.
House toilet under renovation. sponsored by HDB. ok. its like 2 weeks of misery without toilet and a dusty house. I'm like a refugee and the toilets are warzones with enemy from the east and west, shooting drill and hacking on one another. ARGH!! I need peace. To find inner peace, I would seek shower at the temporary toilet under the block. Don't laugh. I felt and doing things like a refugee. Eating packet food and drinks and using the common toilet. I feel what the people in Gaza are feeling, except for the violence part.
Some of the things I have to do this new year. I got to earn more money. Save more money. Pay up my debts. Step up on my trainings. Get 6 packets of tea bags implant on my stomach and two ostrich eggs on my biceps.
Till then buhbyee!!

Back home again

2008-12-22T10:11:00.002+08:00

Finally. I'm back in singapore again. I dont think I'll be out of town until the next expedition.

So Ubin was a steep learning experience for me. Learning about the outdoors, the risk, and the main subject, leadership. Learning with the team made it so much meaningful as these people are the ones that I will be with on the next expedition. Bonds that we created and the things that we shared, form us a team.

Learning about Earnst Shackleton and his journey to the south pole and was trapped was facinating. Especially when he got all his crew to safety after trapped for 3 months.

I still haven't got the photos yet. So will update with photos.

Yesterday was 27! with the gang. Had lunch, at turkey restaurant. Walk around town. lepaks at Esplanade and had dinner at macdonald. Before gg home.
Pics too to be uploaded soon.

Total days without sunshine = 5 days.
Total time thinking of her = everytime
Therefore. I miss her totally.

Hopefully, I will meet her today. *finger-cross*

check who's back

2008-12-16T23:06:00.003+08:00

BACK from Jakarta.

It was an awesome holiday week.

haha.

Had fun knowing the culture, lights and sounds, and the special things that our neighouring country got to offer. Things that Singapore will never offer.

Example:

The Kampung Life

A Villa on top of the mountain facing active volcanoes

Crossing a heavy traffic

Natural hot spring waterfall

The most important thing is getting together a big family =)

Mind you this is only half of the family OKAAYYY!! Oh ya. the one in red and yellow is the bus driver. hahahah.

i'm too lazy to blog about every day. So I'll upload the pics to my photobucket and you view from there yaww!!

2 more days, ALPS leadership camp @ Ubin. 3 days 2 nights.

I'll bet it will be fun.

I can also bet that I'll miss Miss Sunshine AGAINN!!!

ARGHH!!

Thnkz for spending yr time with me and entertaining my irritating-ness. Sorry if i went overboard. And now you know that behind the coolness is actually a rainstorm.

A note for Ms Sunshine.

2008-12-06T07:30:00.003+08:00

Due to my ignorance and enjoying life, playing games, watching movie and FB-ing, I lost my last few hours of my time spending with Miss Sunshine. Without realising, she msn me before she went offline.

"i didn't wanna leave so soon just now.time flies blardy fast when i'm enjoying my time with you.irritating. nw i have to endure for one week without your irritatingness,no calls from u,no msgs,no hugs, no kisses, nothing. =( I WILL MISS YOU. tc when you reach Jakarta tmr. make sure you cn speak javanese when you come back.
haha. nites syg.
love you love you love you hafiz love you love you love you"

So here I am regretting what I've done. There's no way I'm gonna get back the time I've lost on entertainment.

Miss Sunshine, I'm sorry for not spending enough time with you. Time flies fast, but I got to admit, we were in our own world and I am glad that we "runaway". I will try my best to reach you when I'm there alryt dear. All I want is you focusing in class, to catch up with A's, your madrasah exams and have fun and enjoy yourself with the 3 Fs. Family, friends and FOOD. Don't be naughty-naughty and get yourself into trouble. Can syg?

Speak javanese when I come back??? I will be looking like Irwansyah too dear..HOT KAN!!! =) Mentang-mentang die orang Jawa. Haha

I'm really gonna miss you brighting up my days. Your smile, your cheeks, your eyes, your curl eyelashes. I will miss adoring you and going speechless. I will miss your never-ending stories, your touch, your smile, your laughter and your irritatingness. I miss you more today than yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow.

XOXO

Hugs and kisses.

I L Y!!

Human touch,

2008-12-04T15:13:00.003+08:00

Its THURSDAY!!

Having Enterprise Skill module. Now mostly touch on Human management. It is much more better learning on the human touch of business than products.

Talking about this topic, I kinda hate one of my manager at work. He is kinda new to the place, but his PR sucks big time la. Operation style also macam Paham.

First of all, it is already stressful with long queue of order. That FaT Man had alot of wrongly keyed order. Not helping much to me. And lastly asked questions that is OBVIOUS. Like a malay phrase,"Dah terang lagi bersuluh". So I attitude him and making noisense (noise + nonsense).
Luckily Paolo was there to help me with the order. He is like super Chef la. Do kitchen then help out at Bar and take order from the dining. It was chaotic I tell you.
At the end of the day, we had our briefing by this FAT man, and he said this

FAT Man:You should learn food caller. Don't just because you hot, the kitchen also hot, you don't do.
Hafiz: *nod-nod* (like hello!!! I was the food caller!! It when Paolo come in and then I move away. It would be messy if things wasn't organize)
FAT Man: How long you work already??
Hafiz: 6 months =) (9 actually. Plus minus Sat&Sun and PH total 6 months!)
FAT Man : Why give me the attitude? You animal is it? Human or animal??
Hafiz: ....(I heard animals know how to cook and work at a cafe. Why don't you hire an animal unstead. I know one animal. ALEX THE LION!!!)
FATman: BLA, BLA,BLA
Hafiz:...(Yada,yada,yada FAT ASS!!!)

So in the way, he humiliate me infront of all. Thankz la eh =) Appreciate it alot!!

So on Wed, I pai tao work. I told Hazri abt it already. Actually I want to find a replacement, but the guy replacing me wants me to repay on Friday. FRIDAY??!! C'mon. So i decline. SO I call the manager and said I got project and unable to come for work. I'm Sorry Ma'am Glaeza. Its not you. Its that FAT MAN.

Things are getting worst when that FATman around.

As much as I dowan to leave the place, I think I'm leaving.

Its OK. Going to Jakarta at the end of the week. One week there..woooo....SO its cross culture time. I'm going to experience my Hari Raya Haji with my fellow relatives there. Its Hand on time.

Ok. So some events coming up.

JAKARTA: 6 Dec to 14 Dec

Holidays: From 15 Dec to 4 Jan

SG outing:17 Dec

Pulau Ubin Camp: 18-20 DEC

27! : TEntativly on the 21 DEC,subject to change =)

I don't think I'm going to get enough money to survive again.

I'm gonna find alternative.

Gyea-gyeah!

my sunshine.

2008-12-03T15:17:00.003+08:00

I forgot what to blog about but yeah.

Get Well Soon Miss Sunshine. I'm missing you

My Girl - The Temptations

I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside,
I've got the month of May.

Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

I've got so much honey
The bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees.
Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?

My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

Ooooh, Hoooo.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.

I don't need no money,
Fortune or fame.
I've got all the riches, baby,
One man can claim.

Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)
Talkin' bout my girl.

I've got sushine on cloudy day
With my girl.
I've even got the month of May
With my girl.

Desensitizing myself

2008-11-26T22:38:00.002+08:00

"Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don't belong

And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you screaming"

-Welcome to my life, Simple Plan

Aren't you sick of emo-ing everyday??

Haha

Look at the bright side. The more I get hurt, the more I'll get desensitize my own feelings and heart. The more numb I will be.

Ever heard of these words before," The higher your rate of rejection, the highly successful you will be"? I forgot where I read it from but lets discuss about it.

The higher number of rejection = higher number of experience

Higher number of experience = increament of wisdom

Higher level of wisdom = most appropriate actions taken

Then again, should I play with fire? Should I find trouble? Should I find tragedy when I'm already happy?

Haha. it looks much simpler in maths than real life.

I've been catching up with sleep these few days. In fact everyday. Reach home, put my bag in my room and sit on the sofa. Mr Sandman will then happily come and put sleeping sands. This cause my to deprive on my food intake. I'm really got heavy sleeping debts to clear. Haha.

"When people are lame, they love to blame.” - Robert Kiyosaki

I need to recharge.

2008-11-25T00:17:00.002+08:00

Its been awhile since i meet up with some positive people. Their words are all motivational. I was naive then when I was thinking that they are only talking in terms of business sense, but in fact it applies to everyday life. Everyday situation. Everyday problems. I wish to meet up with them soon. Catch up with things. Go rock climbing or play futsal again.

Ok. Guess what. This week I'm not working except for sunday. It really got me when I got the news. It never happen like this before. Anyway. I hope I can make use of this holiday period to do something beneficial. Like cover up for my CE points or meet up with people I long to meet.

I'm broke till the last cents.

"You are still the same." Someone told me this before. Sad but true. I'm not taking a step further. Still lingering in my comfort zone.

I need to get out of the comfort zone. Like NOW!!!

Message to sunshine: I wish you all the best in making your decision. Whatever you decision is, work it out until your goal is meet. I'm here if you need me. I'll respect your decision even if it hurts me the most. All I want is to see you happy. This is my only request.

Metaphors metaphors

2008-11-20T02:43:00.003+08:00

I came across this sentence in one of my class. Cognitive I think

"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."

-William Shakespeare

I hope that settle some of your thoughts about me.

Anyway, I'm glad to get the warmth of sunshine after November rain. (metaphors again!)

I think I'm in love with metaphors. See how it brings colours to the things we want to say =)

November Rain

2008-11-19T00:46:00.000+08:00

november rain - GNR

November Rain, Guns & Roses

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

~//~

These were the words that I wanted to tell you last night.

Browsing through the text messages, I felt guilty for my actions. I do not want a minor misunderstanding to be the cause of losing a great relationship.

"I'll just end up walkin' In the cold November rain"

Thnkz fr e mmr

2008-11-17T22:23:00.003+08:00

I felt better after the run.

Things are not getting better. I should have been well prepared to get hurt again. I should not react but to respond appropriatly. See who is suffering now??

Like they said "its my fault". I accepted the blame. =)

Sometimes, I wonder what the hell I'm doing. Sometimes I just feel like walking away. Sometimes I remember what I told myself in the past and wonder why I'm not doing the things I said.

Thanks to all that help me laying out my thoughts. Thanks for giving your point of view. =)

I do not want this to happen but if you want it that way, I guess I'm powerless.
I think I'll walk away.

Let go. Hold mine

2008-11-17T00:39:00.002+08:00

It was occupying my sleepy head at work and it really did bother me till now.

The phrase "...i'm not ready..."

Someone told me this "If you are not ready now, you will never be ready tomorrow. Not even 5 years down the road".

Why are you holding on to the past when the hands that I want to hold brings me to a sunny tomorrow?

Its not your past that I want. Its our future that I dream off.

Let go of the past. Break the barrier. Hold my hand. I will bring you to somewhere we belong. Somewhere the sun never sets.

All I want is you.

Stop worry and start working

2008-11-15T23:44:00.002+08:00

"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can.But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything."

-- Mary Hemingway

A nice inspirational quote. I should learn not to worry. If I want something of my desire, I should work hard to get it. Worrying brings nothing but a bad feeling. In fact, it is a bad feeling. A feeling that I am always in. A feeling that I'm not happy with. And that feeling doesn't makes things better. Unless you response to it.

For example, if you are a religious person (I know I am), You are really in need of money and you worry about not having enough money for daily expenses. You keep on worrying and worrying and pray for money. But your daily life is at home bumming, and also worrying about money. Do you think God will personally ask one of his greatest Angle to knock on your door and give you all the money in the world? Unless The Almighty owe you a favour, I do not think so.

I'm not saying that God is unfair or there is no such thing as God. However, God gave you whatever it takes for you to earn money and it is up to you to make use of it.

So instead of you worrying and start DOING, get a job, WORK, at the end of the month there is something to look forward to.

Well, even if I understand the logic and the concept, I still have to learn and fully apply in my daily life. I just started to do it. Just because it is something I desire and not lazy.

Knowing you is unbelievable,

Falling for you is unthinkable,

Holding you is unforgettable,

Losing you is unforgivable.

I told myself that I will do what ever it takes.

This little things

2008-11-13T09:58:00.004+08:00

Life is a rollercoaster. Fast, thrilling, ups, downs and twist.

Currently I'm pretty shagged. School, work, training and private life.

Understanding Test is like a weekly affair. Have not been studying for them. Last UTs was a disappointment. Lessons are getting taxing too. Everyday come to class, doing ridiculas problems. Having ridiculous Faci (only applicable to some). Sometimes I don't even feel like coming to school.

I'm pushing myself to work. To earn more. There are somethings that I have to pay, things I have to get. Expedition trip, expedition equipments, bills, food, transport, travelling. WAHH!!!

I have to train for future expedition. Twice a week is not good enough. I know. I have to push myself.

I've been pushing so much for the needs that I don't have time for myself. For my love ones. I promise my younger brother to play twister with him. He had been wanting to play since Sunday. Now I do not know whether I can keep the promise.

No matter how little I spent my time with you, I really appreciate those little time. This little things that brightened up my day.

Thank you for listening to me last nyt sunshine.

Lost and confuse

2008-11-12T11:56:00.002+08:00

Some things are better left unsaid.

However

If things are left unsaid, it does not give any assurance.

Now I'm lost and confuse.

Dearest Almighty, please show me the light in this winding road.

Packed week

2008-11-10T14:23:00.003+08:00

This week is one long weeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk.

I'm in school and I feel like dozzing off. Weekends was at work.

Looking ahead for this week schedule. Mon training. Tues, Wed, Fri ,Sun working. Thurs, Re-plugged concert. Sat will be bbq with SG. Wahh!!

Can I have time to spent with sunshine?????

Reservist cancelled. Haha. I called them earlier and tolld them that I had went through ICT in June.

Eh! My school vacation starts on the 13 Dec. That means I will pon from 6 onwards due to going Jakarta.

I kinda feel lethargic to go for training.

BMG? =)

Is it that bad???

2008-11-07T22:52:00.002+08:00

Is the manpower really that bad, or their admin sucks???????

Reservist AGAIN??? That will be 2 ICT in one financial year. Luckily I was in the reservist office during my first year of NS life. I know their loopholes. hehe. Anyway, their timing also so good. It takes up my whole of December. From 9 to 26. WAH!! No Christmas la!! Dammit.

OOHHH!!! I know, its because of School holiday period and Christmas.

Now my long awaited holiday to Jakarta and Pulau Ubin are being threatened. I'm gonna make sure I get my deferment even if I myself is on school holiday! Infact they are suppose to recall me only once a FINANCIAL year (from April to Mar) I already got recalled in June. Not even 7 months got recalled again.

YOU KIDS BETTER DON'T MAKE ANY TROUBLE!!! ESPECIALLY THOSE LIVING IN YISHUN!!!

Tomorrow back to work. I donno know how will it be tomorrow. I heard there are alot of new guys, especially those from the close down store.

And I already start my personal training. Ran 7 Km in 45 mins. Sheila was there to accompany me. Thanks dear.

Today's Inspirational Quote: "You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow oldbecause you stop laughing." - Michael Pritchard

With me.

2008-11-07T16:43:00.002+08:00

TGIF!!

Anyway, Weekends will be at work. Woodlands is like my second home town. School, work, friends, hang out spot are located at woodlands. haha. Even SunShine lives here.

Today maths was something so unexpected. Haha. Something so logical can acheive to solve the problems, but we are too engross that we do something so so wrong.

"I don't want this moment to ever end.

Where everything's nothing without you. "

-With me, Sum 41

learn a lesson

2008-11-05T21:15:00.003+08:00

I should have listen to the wise men. "Only fools rush in"

Lesson learnt.

It is as if I do not know you. You are different.

Maybe I do not know you enough.

Whatever it is I hope you are happy. Without regrets.

What is your defination of Happiness??

2008-11-05T05:51:00.004+08:00

Innocence.

Innocence - Avril Lavigne

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's so beautiful it makes you want to cry

This innocence is brilliant, it makes you want to cry
This innocence is brilliance, please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

-Avril Lavigne, The Best Damn Thing

What is your defination of happiness?

Being self indulge with your own piorities in life and be rich, famous and acheiving your dreams? Doing things that makes you owned? Being an ego b*stard and a selfish showoff?

Making others smile even you are the one crying? Putting others before self? However by doing so you are putting yourself at the losing end.

Looking at it again, there are bad points of happiness.

So is happiness truly happiness or is it only temporary?

Maybe I should ask myself what really makes me happy.

Hafiz: So Hafiz, what makes you happy?

Me: When I'm down, I'll pick up the guitar and strum a few notes. Get the blues away.

Hafiz: Isn't that emo?? How can that makes you happy?

Me: Well, it relieves everything that bothering me. Let it all out from within. At the end of the

process, I feel light and it put a smile on my face. And who knows it might be the next top hits on the radio, haha

Hafiz: I see, what other things that makes you happy?

Me: hanging out with best friends and buddies. Listening to their nonsensical. It makes me burst out laughing non stop. I miss those days when I could not stop laughing. Having my family around also makes me happy. Especially with my little brother. Just love to play and mess around with him (evil laugh)

Hafiz: So friends do play an important role in your happiness ya?

Me: YERP!! They may not listen to my sorrows, since I prefer to keep it to myself and the one who really knows me well, but they will always hear my laughter.

Hafiz:Does acheiving something makes you happy?

Me: It does. It proves me that I am capable of acheiving such feat.

Hafiz: How about being rich and famous? Does that makes you happy?

Me: To a certain extent yes. Being rich will strike off all the financial problems and worries away. When money is not a problem. Furthermore I can bum my ass anywhere without worrying about money. However, what is the point of being rich but no one to share the great wonderful life with? Money is not everything. Being famous is good because every living soul wants to be acknowledged and recognized. It makes you feel a sense of importance and a job well done. But being famous might result in plenty of flash lights and noises. I prefer a peaceful life, like calm sea with stars on the black velvet sky.

Hafiz: So you not a materialistic kind of guy huh?

Me: Nope. The stuff that I bought is a necessity, not luxury.

Hafiz: So can I conclude that interaction with people is more important to you then material.

Me: Yes. The people around me are important for my happiness. Without them, I won't be here.

Hafiz: Thank you so much for your time. Its nice to know you better.

Me: Your welcome.

~//~

Now, ask yourself these questions and know yourself better and know what is your true defination of happiness. =)

Mt Tahan. Conquered.

2008-11-04T13:48:00.004+08:00

I wAnt to go back to Mt Tahan. I want to get out of the buzz and sounds of Singapore. Get out of the boring routine life in Singapore. I want adventure. Adventure with best friends and BUDDY!!!

I miss those starry nights, cold winds and pure river water.

Do not worry about me little sunshine. You are a great friend to be with. You already know why I was upset. Read your post again. =)

Till the next adventure. ROCK ON \m/

Credit to Sharifah, Atiqah, Benjamin, Hazri, Shangru, Lokman for the photos. More photos can be view here: http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b137/zorro1822003/Gunung%20Tahan/

Back home.

2008-11-01T14:42:00.003+08:00

I'm back home from the expedition with RP ALPS team. It was a blast man. It been a long time since I went back to nature and do things out of my comfort zone. And not just that, my mind and will power had also been tested.

But at the end of the day, I've made it to the top, that is only half way of the expedition, and went down safe and sound.

The happenings is in bullet form below.

First time taking train
Too many times I was inches away from death
Got blood sucked by leeches
Water never tasted so good
Puddle of mud up to my knee length
They call it the toughest mountain in Malaysia not for nothing
Got my last kiss goodbye from the sting of a bee
Mentally and physically challenging
I'm not prepared and underestimate the expedition especially the weather
Many got sick and injured, but i got excluded.
Experience the wonder's of God's creation
Sunset and sunrise from the top of the world
Stars are everywhere in the dark night
Almost missed the train home thankz to ramli burger
Emo-ed on the way back home

Pictures will be up in a few days time, I wasn't carrying my camera there.

Reach home, clean up, washed up all the stuff and spend some time with dearest ones who I had been missing for 4 days. Family, friends and sunshine.

"A beautiful girl can make you dizzy,
like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning.
She can make you feel high;
Full of the single greatest commodity known to man,
Promise.
Promise of a better day.
Promise of a greater hope.
Promise of a new tomorrow.
This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl.
In her smile and in her soul..
and the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay."

-Great Romances Of The 20th Century, Taking Back Sunday

10 hours

2008-10-25T10:37:00.003+08:00

10 more hours before I'll be leaving home. Leaving home for an adventure I had always been looking forward to.
Leave the country, leave the lights and sounds, leaving my comfort zone to explore the gifts of the Almighty.

Therefore, I would like to request you people to pray for me to have a safe journey going there and coming back too.

Ok. If you guys still donno where I am going. I am going to Gunung Tahan. Its in the deep jungle in malaysia. Its the not the heighest (2187m) compared to mount Kinabalu in Sabah (4095m), however, it is the toughest. (See the map attached) There are two routes to the peak. One by Kuala Tahan another is by Merapoh. Due to constriction of time, (we got to conquer and come back down by 4 days) we going by Merapoh.

Kuala Tahan Route

Merapoh Route

Eventhough it is a easier route compare to Kuala Tahan, risk is still there. I was told to be prepared to face leeches, cross rivers which is as deep as neck level and wet days.

This is nothing compared to OBS. One thing for sure, I can have a starry night. I loike =)

2008-10-24T14:47:00.002+08:00

"The pain I keep inside
The pain that makes me "me""
-Save me from me, Amber Pacific.

A new pair of shoe, a new running route. But will that help in escaping and running away from the problem?

No matter where I go, what I do, and get myself hallucinated, things doesn't seem to change. Irresponsible will still be that way. People like me have to suffer.

"EMOTION, that's my middle name"
-Emotion, MXPX

People in W26R
Sorry for my moody face. Sorry I didn't make my presence felt. Sorry for not shouting "RECESS!!" during the first breakout.

Sunshine:
Sorry for making you worried.

I am ok. I'm just thinking too much.

PEace out.

How time flies

2008-10-23T14:09:00.002+08:00

Tick tock tick tock, its the end of week 7 of school semester. Vacation break is just around the corner, which is this weekend and its only for a week. It does not have any difference having break, or school. Well I'm already adapt to the school environment so well that its like a normal routine.

Well next week, I'll be out of town for one week. Going Pahang to climb mountain. Gunung Tahan, here I come. The planning was a bit off as we planned to depart on friday night however due to tickets being sold out, we got to depart on Sunday morning, 530am. Wahh. it will be difficult to open my eyes. Saturday night confirm I will sleep quite late. I think I will stay overnight and sleep in the train ride to Malaysia. So I finally done my personal food shopping. And I left with $1 in my spending account. WAHHH!! I still have not get some of my gear like hiking shoe, sandals, track pants, insect repellent, bla bla bla. Grr..Been spending alot on, wait let me think, ermm, uuuuhhhhh, what ah?..food??? Haha. Eat alot, waste alot, not getting any fatter. HAHAHA.

Though some of the stuff not prepared, the most important thing is getting my mind prepared for the worst. It will be fun. Believe me.

Even so, I'm not prepared to leave sunshine for a week. I will miss you. Sheila helps, but sometimes listening to sheila will make me remember you.

Box of Chocolates

2008-10-19T18:40:00.003+08:00

"Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

-Forrest Gump (1994)

When you are happy now, the next moment you can be pissed off. When you are healthy living now, you may die the next morning.

In short, VALUE the things around you. Family, love ones and friends. Because you may never know what will happen next. Do not take them for granted. Nobody like to be treated that way. Not you, not me.

Are you Happy?

2008-10-17T21:24:00.000+08:00

If that really makes you happy, good for you.

But in your blurry Happy vision, you are an embarassment.

Things are getting clear...

2008-10-17T12:13:00.000+08:00

In class now. SOLO is presenting. Blaahhh.

Anyway, the water face of each individual is getting clearer. There are names that had been post on their forehead. The names such as Uncle Cab, Prof YP and SOLO. Blahh. Class was fun when they are being laughed at?? haha. This prove that guys like me also gossip. Haha

I'm listening to Hindi music. Thanks to my classmate who is from India. Haha. It did not take me long before I'm grooving to the beats. Haha. So people, drop everything you are doing and lets BANGHRA!!!

so here are some pictures of Raya moments!

More pictures you can go here:

http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b137/zorro1822003/SEoul%20Garden%20raya/

http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b137/zorro1822003/Sunday%20Raya%20with%20Family/

http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b137/zorro1822003/Raya%20with%20Secondary%20peeps/

Enjoy.

What's next?!

2008-10-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

I'm having my maths test in a few hours time and I am here blogging away. I realise that I haven't been reflecting much these few weeks as I was busy with Raya and other personal committment. My days had to be carefully planned before I can do things in a much easier way without to worry about other matters.

It had been a tiring week. Weekends Raya visiting, Monday and Thursday training, Tues, Wed and Fri work. So the time I got to myself to talk to someone and express myself will be late night. This increase my sleeping debts which not included interest yet.

There are more to be blog about, but I almost was stepped. So till then

Blue sky.

2008-10-10T21:29:00.000+08:00

As I sit down and listen, to the stories that you share

My mind was splash, with stories on my own

Stories that once colour my life, my dream and fantasy

Just like a painter that brush the canvas sheet

Fine stroke avoiding mistake, showing clarity

As I look back at the canvas sheet

That is framed on the walls of my heart

How I realize, how far we have been apart

I stop, stare and wonder

What would it be like, differently?

Am I lost in this path I decided to take?

Or is this what it meant by fate?

Even if the hope is gone

I got to be strong

Move along

At the end of the road

There, will I find Peace

There, will I find Bliss

So I was in the mosque, listening to the sermonts. Trying my best to defeat those bad guys that tried to shut my eyes. I look out at the frame showing the world how beautiful blue sky is. It was peaceful. I just glued there and feel how great it was being peaceful. I really adore peacefulness.

I am yet to find peace in me. Peace brings Bliss.

Please.

2008-10-06T19:35:00.000+08:00

I'm begging you Sheila. Dont give me attitude please. I brought you on my 14Km run and you show me this. Please dear. I need you more than anyone else. Who will I listen to when I'm going off to school? Who will give me the inspiration to start the day with the right note? No one feels me like you do Sheila. Please. Don't pull me down can?

So today training was for the running hardcore. We ran like 2 hours. This is the route. I really took my new shoe to the test. I just bought a new pair of NewBalance shoe. So we went out for a running test. And I so loving it.

Class was hit with blues and grey sky. I just feel like sleeping. Though sleeping does not give me an A, but the feeling of syiokness influence me to cover my face with the hood and ZZZ.

Though blueeeness strikes me, seeing your face brings the warmth back. Thanks mochafrappe with whipcream and caramel syrup =).

Ok my legs are aching and I need to study for tomorrow UT. See ya.

PS: Pray that Sheila will be ok.

I just feel like...

2008-10-02T13:54:00.000+08:00

Before I start,

I just feel like SCRRREEEAAAMMINNG MY ASS OFF!!

ok here goes.

Hari Raya was great. Not alot of pretty pictures to show here. But I look awesome la. Haha. Relax Hafiz, don't get your nose high up yet.

I'm not getting younger, so I don't play with my younger cousins. I just sit there and keeping myself quiet. Sitting among my uncles. Atleast my presence was felt. Haha. If not, I'll be standing one corner. Like security guard already la.

Total my family went to 4 houses. Went to the elderly. Sad-sad moments la. One of my grand-aunt lost one of her son, my uncle DUH!!, during the fasting month. God loves him more i guess. I didn't even managed to visit him to pay my last respect. I pray that God bless him.

There were laughter and there were tears too. The day that tissue papers are in high demand. This Hari Raya was an eye opener for me cos it shows how everybody loves and value each other. People come together to seek forgiveness from the past sins they had made.

After thinking about it, I will not write about how shitified I am right now and Yes!! you are right. DAMN RIGHT!! who am I anyway???

Dude...

2008-09-30T19:18:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!

I wanna take this opportunity to align my 10 fingers and seek forgiveness to all of you. If the words I used here might offend any of you readers.

FARHAN BIN SAIRI. AKu rindu banget pada kamu.

Its almost here!!

2008-09-29T20:01:00.000+08:00

Did you heard the news??

Raya is in 1 day time. So exciting!! hahaha. I donno why, but I'm looking forward to this year raya. Haha. Its like I feel satisfied with my endurance and perserverence in this one month of fasting. Its like I've test myself to the limits.

Physical training was hard with runs of at least 5 km, staircase climbing of atleast 100 floors. I fall sick. Had diarrhoea. Went through all kind of crap. Workplace was a warzone. With reservations hitting 50 pax just to break fast. Serving them the food and they had an enjoyable breakfast, while me and other colleague work hard to make them happy before had our proper dinner 30 mins later.

Eventhough I went through alot of hardcore trouble, the best thing is that I met a person who always brighten up my day. Rain or shine, warm or cold. Mum always said that the fasting month is the month that will be special. I donno. What I know is that her presence is a great feeling.

I hope that when Ramadhan leaves us, things will be as if it never leaves.

So yeah. Got all my raya stuff ready. Haircut, baju raya, perfume, haha. This raya will be fun.

Rot.

2008-09-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

I feel so blessed and great to be able to rot at home. Yeah. Practically sit at home and do nothing. Roll on my bed from left to right and left again.

Well actually been pretty tired due to late night sleep. I was hangging on the telephone line from the moment I reach yishun after work on Fri night all the way till 3am in the morning. I was sitting at the corner of the kitchen that my brother thought I was like a drug addict sitting and curling up and enjoy every puff of marijuana. Well I got addicted to her voice and she is my weed. Like duh!. And he practically annouce my doings to the family when breaking fast as if what I did was a crime. Can't he shut up?

Oh well. He is in a world of his own. Filling up his car stomach is much more important than his own fat one.

Anyhow. Spending Saturday with the family is so precious to me. Even if my dad asking me help on his excel file got me quite irritated. He wants me to help, yet he gives directions as if he knows. If you know do it la. And my brother, another NATO. Got so fed up that I told him to do it if he knows so much. My dad told him off by saying, "you know nothing" hahaha

So I was enjoying myself with junkies entering my mouth. After breaking fast of course. I don't know whether my fast was accepted or not due to some reason in the morning.

I think I'm going to bed early cos tomorrow will be a long daay at work. Loonggg Loonggg day. But I think it won't be busy, except for those who are not F1 enthusiast to come in and dine. I'm so going to miss F1. The cars are super slick la. And Ferari got the first slot in the starting line. weeee. But I'm sure its going to be tough. During qualifying round many cars got bailed out due to some mishaps. So wave the checked flag girls!!

Victim of my advice.

2008-09-23T19:37:00.000+08:00

"If you always want something so badly, go get it. Even if there are people to stop you, you can overcome those people to achieve what you always wanted. Because at the end of the day, those people do not give your goals, it is you."

These are the words I advice to young kids that do not know what to do. Especially when they are down. Encouraging them that impossible is nothing. Giving them hope that they will achieve it. Without me knowing, one of her dream is me.

HUH??ME??!!

Oookkaayyy...

So here I am. In a state whether what I did was right? Am I justified on my doings?? What went so awfully wrong here??????? Damn.

Ok. Back to basic. If you are reading this. Lets be friends first aits? But do not put high hopes on me. And I certainly do not want to be blame!! My advice to you, you win some and you lose some. Stop being greedy!!

Impersonation.

2008-09-19T19:26:00.000+08:00

Finally. The are someone who is brave enough to show the world what malays are becoming. These are the vids. I hope you got the message about the "hot" trends of the malay youths and young adults in Singapore.

REALITY ZAI: IMPRESSIONS OF A QUEER BLOGGER / DANCER

REALITY ZAI : MAT AND MINAH IMPRESSIONS. Ver 1.0

I hope you have a good understanding now. And also a great time laughing your ass off!!

you need to self reflect

2008-09-16T18:36:00.000+08:00

I don't know where had you place your attitude? Somewhere up there in your brains? or somewhere down where it stinks?

You had been blessed with a beauty near perfection. A gift that no one can have unless approved by Him. But then, why with the vulgarities?

Is it cool to say those words when what you are wearing represents something so pure? What will the others think of you? Won't you be ashamed? Well You SHOULD. If you are not ashamed of yourself, guess what? I AM ASHAMED OF YOU!!

Look yourself in the mirror and reflect on yourself.

I'm Having Menses

2008-09-12T03:33:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not. I'm having menses like literally.

For the past few days, it was really a test on my fasting, Not because of the temptation of food or greed or lust. However, I fell horribily sick. The worst thing is 2 sickness back to back. Fasting still goes on.

First sickness was fever. I had a tremendous fever when I reach home on tues. Actually I do not know what really the cause of the fever. As I reach home from school, I straight dive onto the sofa to have my 40 winks before breaking fast. Resting after a hard day at school. When its time to break fast, I woke up and the body tempreture went sky high. It went so high that stream of steam can be seen gushing out from my ears. It was frightening man.

To prevent from dehydration, I drank like a lake of water. I didn't even touch my food as sambal sotong was the main dish of the day. Eating something red and spicy will break my thermostat got myself cook, as so I thought.

Then I went to finish up my work, but since my head having a large scale earthquake, I cannot even think of the best thing to write on my reflection journal. So I continue sleeping on my sofa, before the sofa went hot and expanded I think. It fits me perfectly without the need to curl my body. But it went to hot that I went to sleep on the floor which is much cooler. But still, it went hot. The best thing is that I slept as if I got fainted. Everything around me was so messy. The TV control, my laptop, my bottle of water. Its like a murder scene only without the blood. And I slept till the next day.

Without having my breakfast and still fasting I dragged myself to school. The tremours in my head still moving and the tempreture still rocket high. I went to school to cool myself down. Republic Polytechnic is like the freezer. It is so cooling cold. I save energy by not relying on the aircon at home nor the fan. But dragging myself to school is like pulling a lorry. Time moves so fast and I was so far behind. Reach school, the tremours getting harder as the problem statement have the warning sign "Warning, Earthquake in head ahead!" First two meetings was a drag! I did not really contribute much and if I got a poor grade I deserve it. BOO!!

During lunch break, Met up with Izza. And guess what, after that meeting, my head feels lighter. She got this magical healing power surrounding her or something. Just having her around makes my sickness go away. Maggggggggggiiiiiiiiiicccccccccc. The tremours went down, my body got cooler. Maybe she got some ulti that heals. (PS: IZZA jangan nak kembang!!)

Reach home after school and was welcome with stomach ache and frequent visit to the toilet. Crazy man. It was as if I was having menses. I was hit with diarrhea. Goodness!! I wasn't alone though. My sister and mum also got it. They looked like living zombie. How horrid it was. Food poisoning in my house. But wait. My father and elder brother did not get it and they are the food chomper. How ironic.

I suspect that the sambal goreng was the one that goes around and vandalise our digestive system. Damn you sambal goreng. You look really nice with the prawns and beancurd. But then you misuse the trust that was given to you! I hope you die in the incinerator!

OK. Some personal updates.

One of my uncle past away 2 days ago due to some sickness I was not aware off. I was having fever thus did not visit him for the last time. May your soul be bless.

Another update. I got my first A for the second semester. Woohooo

Wasting Time. Blink 182

2008-09-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

Wasting Time. Blink 182.

I'm wasting time thinking about a girl
And stealing her away from her world
She and I would run away
I think of all the things that I'd say

We'd talk about important things
And I picture it in my dreams
She'd teach me about modern art
And I'd show her it's okay to fart and

Maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Remembering how she laughed at Kinko's
When I made fun of that guy
Remebering the look she gave me
When I told her that I used to fry

I really want to ask her out
But my ego could never take it
And even if I got the balls
You know that the Cougar would never make it

And in my town you can't drive naked

And maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Wasting my time thinking about a girl

Early Monday morning.

2008-09-08T00:39:00.000+08:00

According to my watch, its 415 am. I am wide awake thanks the big bang of my guitar that fell to the floor. Making a "Ke-Bang!!" which I thought the beginning of World War 3. Luckily I didn't panicked or I could hit my head on the metal grill right above my head.

How un panic I was when my guitar dropped. I used to have this thinking that when you cherished and take good care of your musical instrument, your musical instrument will awesomely beautiful. That is why Slash is one of the living legend of Guitar Heros.

Eventhough my eyes and mind were awaken to the "OMG" I was still lazying around my bed as though I was paralyzed. Did anyone poisoned me with lactic acid? Oh wait. I got to search for injection marks.

Ok none.

So as I was saying, my whole body was jam. Eventhough I was fast, really fast, asleep before even 9.30pm last night, while watching King Kong. That giant ape was too slow to appear that I figured that I could easily teleport myself to Skull Island and met him personally. I was hoping to have a picture with him and coming back home showing to mum that I took pictures with the REAL King-Kong. Mum had a photo of me and my elder brother taking a photo with "King-Kong" that was on tour to Singapore decades ago. When I realise that I was fast asleep.

Mum always talk about King-Kong as if he was our family pet. Talking about how gigantic he was and how his magnificant strength and power is able to move mountain and destroy buildings with his pinky fingers. Mum's favourite moment of her life was to take photo of King-Kong with her little "King-Kongs".

I obviously do not want to have a King Kong as a pet. Especially during the fasting month. He would surely gobble down all the food on the table when it is time to break fast. What was left will be clean and clear plates. And imagine when we had to feed him bananas all the time. My mum would change the family to all with bananas. Imagine having sweet sour bananas, Banana Rice, Fried Banana with Soy Sauce, Banana Curry. I'm sure going bananas.

My childhood would not even be great. My toys will be broken every now and then. And my Playstation would be into the Dumpstation when King Kong lose to King Kong in the virtual world. When venting his anger to anything he can grab hold off, I will be living in a house of destruction. Where everything had been destroy.

What would destroy a boy the most? When his pet is getting way too much attention than its owner. I would have to bear with excessive flash lights and amusment from the public who saw my pet King-Kong. King Kong here and there. He is in the lime light while the owner is standing in King-KOng shadow. Awww. So sad.

OK. My handphone alarm is up and it acts like a family alarm clock for sahur.

So this is how it goes...

2008-09-05T19:07:00.000+08:00

Its Friday!! 3 days after school reopens. 5 days after fasting month started.

Since the start of this new season, changes are here affecting my life.

New class with new environment and people. They are actually a great bunch of people. Its just that the ice have not really melt. Once it melt I am sure that it will be chaotic. Well maybe not as chaotic as my W26J. But we see how. Since it is the start of the new sem. Lets start shaking hands for the guys and say good morning when the next person come into class. Lets make a CULTURE!! I hope that the others will follow to. Then the class will bond together.

Ok next thing that is happening now is that I am changing my working schedule to weekends. Strictly on weekends. No more weekdays. I dowant to commit myself to work as I got better things to do. Yeah. And I want the workplace to know that I'm not tied to them. Another reason is that I will be very tempted to eat when I work because I am a "rat" at work. As I cook, I eat. So when fasting start, I donno whether I can prevent the temptation. Have faith Hafiz. You can if you believe. Hahaha.

So this is the time for me to acheive something I had been missing out for so long. But I donno where to start. Can somebody help me please. I need a helping hand. I dowan to lose out anymore. PLEASSEEE....

A new leaf. Let's go!

2008-09-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

I'm starting over a new leaf. In conjunction with the special month. This is the right time to change.

It been a year since I ORD. This one year, it hadnt been a good year. One year had past, 4 more years to go. so what will I be in 4 years time? Same as the previous year??

Things on my changing list

Attitude
extrovert
Positive
hard working
Brave

Next goal...FREEDOM!!

So from next entry onwards...it will be the story towards freedom.

Sweet!

2008-08-28T20:14:00.000+08:00

Swweewweeettt!

Haha.

Result are out!! Scored awesomely great for the first semester. GPA: 3.40 la beb..haha

All the hard time paid off. Its only the first year and first semester. Got 2 years 1 semester to go. I plan to maintain the result I got and furthering my studies. Gerek la sey.

Last week of hols, last week before fasing month start. And it been great la. Got plenty of school activities to be involve in and more people to meet and making new relationships. Haha. This morning got one event I volunteeer in. And meet new and fun people. Poly life. Work hard play hard. hehe. Fun la sey.

I learn something based on experience today.As i got Alps training climbing the 22 storey high HDB flat with 13 Kilo of weights in my back pack, and the 4th and last set, fatigue starts to set in. Legs getting loosen by the moment. When I feel like "thats enough", suddenly i step on the stairs and start climbing again. I was thinking, why am I doing this? But I keep on climbing. My head wants to quit but my leg keeps moving. Confuse but I still move on. Reach the "peak" of that flat, feels great. I was happy. It was a sweet feeling. I donno why am I doing riddiculous things when I can be somewhere else doing something worthy.

I now understand the meaning of persistance.

"Persistance is when your legs keep on walking when your head told you to give up. Reaching the peak, its a sweet feelings and you are glad that you don't follow what your head is telling you" - Hafiz Alias.

I need your help

2008-08-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

Hey all,

Due to some technical fault, I lost all your contact numbers. It will be nice of you to send me your contact numbers.

Greatly appreciated

With Regards

Dear God. Avenged SevenFold

2008-08-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line  Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find  While I recall all the words you spoke to me  Can't help but wish that I was there  Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah   Dear God, the only thing I ask of you  Is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away  We all need that person who can be true to you  But I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed  Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again oh no  Once again   There's nothing here for me on this barren road  There's no one here while the city sleeps  And all the shops are closed  Can't help but think of the times I've had with you  Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah   Dear God, the only thing I ask of you  Is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away  We all need that person who can be true to you  But I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed  Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again oh no  Once again  Some search, never finding a way  Before long, they waste away  I found you, something told me to stay  I gave in, to selfish ways  And how I miss someone to hold  When hope begins to fade  A lonely road, crossed another cold state line  Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find   Dear God, the only thing I ask of you  Is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away  We all need that person who can be true to you  But I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed  Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again oh no  Once again

Haha.It was a total surprise.

2008-08-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

Surprise surprise!!! It was audit day yesterday. Haha. We got audited and I tell you it was the most anxious period while the auditors were here!! hahaha.

And one of my colleague even confronted the auditors just because of pile up dirt! haha. That china man confronted the auditors, who were Philippines, who then talk to the manager, who is a malaysian, that manager asked me what happen, obviously a Sg-ean. HAha. Look at how many countries are involve because of a dirt!!! hahahaha. And who is responsible to scrub that dirt away??? Guess who...Guess ah..

hmm.....

Its me!!!! hahaha.

Oh wait...before the auditors came to check. Got a surprise too before that... It was so surprising that I was shouting!! hahaha.. My handphone screen broke and the phone now displays nothing but colours of the rainbow. It was so awesomely beautiful la sey..haha. And it has a two new games called "guess who calling" and " guess what you are typing!" haha. Didn't know that my phone has the functions and applications once the screen crack! haha

To end yesterday's amazing day, I did a stunt. I dipped my hands into a pool of HAWT oil. Only the strong survive. haha. I made it before plunging my hand into a container of ice water approximately 5 degree celcius. Cool or what??!!! haha

What a wonderful day. Tomorrow will be better. HAhaha.

Destination unknown

2008-08-19T21:38:00.000+08:00

Can I just drop everything and go???

Destination unknown.

Lets stuff all our gears and go back packing around the world.

Lets be nomads and live everywhere we want.

Lets be an adventurer and adventure our way through the concrete jungle.

Lets climb mountain and catch the sunrise from the peak.

Lets get lost and never be found.

I Feel So....

2008-08-18T21:01:00.000+08:00

I feel so uneasy. Feel so entangled. Feel like I'm drowning. Suffocating.

I want to get out of this same old routine. I got the opportunity. All I need is to exploit it. I got to.

ARRGGHHH!!!!!!!

I wanna scream my head off.

Don't bother. You don't even care.

With Regards.

Life's a thorn

2008-08-18T18:42:00.000+08:00

"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy
than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our
misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us."

-- Voltaire

Lets get back..

2008-08-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

Ok. Been on a haitus for almost a month now.

But that weeks past is just a normal routine. A boring routine. So I will just update on the things that I guess important for you guys to know.

I am having school vacations! Fun or what?? Well the days are like work, work, work. School holidays aint fun when you got stuck to work, work, work. You work so hard yet at the end of the day, you pocket is full of holes. I'm getting tired of this. Not even the first week of payday, my account balance drop to $7 from the initial $400. Cool or What???? When talking about money, there is nothing fun about it and AI can brag until sun rise and go to work.

Ok. Enough of being a complain ass like what a normal Singaporean do. Lets talk about something that spells something like this: P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E

Hmm. Lets see. I organise a class reunion but did not attend. Positive side. I do not need to spend eating at things I see everday at work. Haha. Anyway I am trully sorry to those that made it and expect me to be there.

Time at work, I reflect on myself. Reflect on the future. Reflect on what I had become and what I will become. Alot of reflections. One mirror not enough. And I realise one thing. I am the same guy a year before. Unplanned, unvision, unmotivation, un purpose. You know I know la. I realise that I cannot always take things that God gave us and blame on fate. I'm telling myself this, "There is no such things as FATE. Fate is just a word of excuse. The outcome is dependant of my own course of actions. Ming by?

Anyway. Words are my forte. Actions? Don't even think about seeing me doing the things I say. I admit. I am a member of NATO (No Action, Talk Only).I am so not proud of it. At least I'm not a pot that calls a kettle black. wohoo..

Kiss kiss muacks I LOVE YOU!

Pioritize Pioritise

2008-07-24T21:12:00.000+08:00

Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards
us.-Earl Nightingale

Blahh. I realise I got too many things I'm juggling. And I got so messed up that I donno what is important and what is not. I need to pioritize.

These are the things I'm focusing:

Alps training
School
Work
friends
Money
entertainment

Alps training is important because I want to climb mountain. To be at the top of the world. It is nothing I ever dream of and here is my chance. I got to train to be fit.

School is tough. RP is tough and it is not the same like other Polys. We got daily grade and test that keep on coming every week.

Work work work for money.

Been too busy with school and work that i got no time for friends. And when i'm with them it is really fun

Money makes the world go round. I need money for the daily living. For preparation for Alps expedition. For the trip to Jakarta to celebrate Hari Raya Haji in December. And settle the unclear debts.

Got some new movies that I want to watch. The Dark Knight. Haiz. I'll be watching online if I miss it in cinema.

Sianz.

Pioritize Pioritise

2008-07-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards
us.-Earl Nightingale

Blahh. I realise I got too many things I'm juggling. And I got so messed up that I donno what is important and what is not. I need to pioritize.

These are the things I'm focusing:

Alps training
School
Work
friends
Money
entertainment

Alps training is important because I want to climb mountain. To be at the top of the world. It is nothing I ever dream of and here is my chance. I got to train to be fit.

School is tough. RP is tough and it is not the same like other Polys. We got daily grade and test that keep on coming every week.

Work work work for money.

Been too busy with school and work that i got no time for friends. And when i'm with them it is really fun

Money makes the world go round. I need money for the daily living. For preparation for Alps expedition. For the trip to Jakarta to celebrate Hari Raya Haji in December. And settle the unclear debts.

Got some new movies that I want to watch. The Dark Knight. Haiz. I'll be watching online if I miss it in cinema.

Sianz.

Dilemma.Dilemma.Dilemma.

2008-07-22T09:42:00.000+08:00

To pursue on what you want or what you need?

To be here or to be there?

My values are being challenged.

There is a purpose for everything.

2008-07-18T19:55:00.000+08:00

Today inspirational Quote:

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities
brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems." -- John W. Gardner

Today I didn't go to class to solve the usual daily problems. I went to ICA building instead to extent my validity of passport for nextweek wseekend trip across the causeway. But I was met with disappointment when the counter staff told me that I could not extent my passport but to make a new one. Blahh. Waste my time and effort of going there.

So I was stuck with time. Not going to school and not going back home yet. So I decided to stay at the Library. read some books. Listen to some songs. Waste time. Before decided to walk around town. Seriously walking around town and snap some pics.

Thought of meeting my friend after 3 hours of walking. But too tired and went home to sleep. Whaha.

Managed to snap 3 pics that really caught my eyes.

Meet my friend, Ryan, that had always been there for me. Through thick and thin. For better or worst, he will be there right by my side.

The heart of Singapore, and the river that makes it all happen. Proud to be a Singaporean!

The Forgotten Heroes. They are the one making the river clean and pretty. Hah! Give them some credits!!

Tomorrow working. Full shift. Pretty demoralising. Blahh!

Dreamy dream.

2008-07-17T20:36:00.001+08:00

These few nights I had been having sweet dreams. Hah. Its nice to see people, that plays a part in your life, to be in the dream.But one dream that was the most prominent is the dream about me and a friend of mine.

Both of us return to her house after an outing together (if i remember correctly). So I help her to wash the dishes while she in the kitchen doing some stuff. And then her parents was like commenting, " this young couple" or something in that context. I was just pretending not to hear it, but when I look at my friend, she was in total embarrasement. Her face was like tomato red. Haha. And she was super cute blushing. hahaha.

Ok. I wanna enjoy my dream. Tired from training. 5km run and 22 storey staircase. Fun or what??!!

Dreamy dream.

2008-07-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

Ok. I wanna enjoy my dream. Tired from training. 5km run and 22 storey staircase. Fun or what??!!

First stop.

2008-07-15T20:03:00.000+08:00

The future is in our hands. And I'm so excited about the future. The things that I will earn, teh things that I will lost.

For a great future I got to start planning now. Planning for retirement. Haha. No one is too early to plan for retirement. The early the better. Because I want to retire young and fugling rich. Muahaha.

I'm 20 now. 5 years down the road, I will be in the working world. 10 years down the road, hopefully married with beautiful kids and settle down. 20 years ahead, I hope I retire. haha. That at the age of 40. Crazy right. Haha. Well if some of them can do it. Why not me? haha.

Ok that is all the dream. Didn't i tell you that Pisces are dreamers??? haha

Well I wanna change my attitude. I wanna be cheerful and extrovert. Start saying "Hi" to people I know. Start talking to people and not just in class and doing work. I want to have a new identity. And it will start...NOW!!!

Focus on the solutions

2008-07-14T19:24:00.000+08:00

Focus on the solutions Not the problems. I finally realise what it really means. When we know our goals, problems are bound to accompany us along the way. However, if you keep your eyes on the prize, problems are just hurdles for us to overcome.

This statement was even proven today. Cognitive module I have the most inertia team members. Hard for us to move. But they are full of ideas. And their examples are so good that we link everything up. Unlike the other teams who are better in their presentation. But i feel that my team had improve. I was dragging to go to school today because of the team members, but in the end of the day, I was satisfied with the end result. Which is the solutions.

Problems I face was, they got easily distracted with the things around them and they are really hard to move. 2 of them got their laptops down without VPN configure. In the end it was a job well done.

Good job people. Thank you for the brilliant ideas and examples.

What goes around..

2008-07-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

they come around. Or do they??

Helping out is good, but don't expect them to return the favour. Just smile and feel good that you had help them acheive something.

I donno why I start with those things..haaha

Few days back was really good. Met some of the pals that I have not meet for so long.

Sat met farhan, he brought me to Bt Gombak on his dad motorbike. haha. Cool la seeing two youngster riding a cruiser. Motorbikes for dads. Haha. Then when to Gombak cos Farhan got a band meeting. And I was like the odd one out. Caused I'm not their band member nor am I got anything to do with the band. They are into alternative sounds and british rock. Those catchy tunes with vox. Cool la.

After that met my old colleague. Went for a dinner and catch up with old stuff. Haha.Its not a date eh. He collected my stuff from warehouse. So met up with him to get the stuff and update on each other. He got me excited again for the business. Now I'm going to try it all ovar again. I'm pissed with myself for not doing things right. So here is my chance, again.

I'm pissed with myself for not always doing things right and give up easily. So here is my chance, again.

my heroine

2008-07-11T02:53:00.000+08:00

My Heroine. Silverstein.

The drugs begin to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer.

You wont try to save me
You just want to hurt me and leave me desperate.

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine.

You won't leave me alone
Chisel my heart out of stone
I give in everytime.

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine

I bet you laugh
At the thought of me thinking for myself (myself)
I bet you believe (bet you believe)
That I'm better off with you than someone else

Your face arrives again
All hope I had becomes surreal
But under your cover's
More torture than pleasure
And just past your lips
There's more anger than laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on I'll break you, my habit

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine

I will save myself.

Walking contradiction

2008-07-09T21:21:00.000+08:00

hey peeps. Just wondering. Do people say things but eventually not heeding what they said? A contradicting between actions and words?

anyway.

I finally found the fun part of chemistry. haha. This PBL thing really works wonder, especially in science. haha. This system of making one to think and do research is way better then sitting in a hall and listening to lectures and doing tutorials. haha. Learning with a difference huh. Oh yeah. I love it.

Actually, the PBL thing is a good education system with a difference. The only thing is the team members. If they are the "head in the ass" as said by Hancock, it will be a rough one. If the "kaki lang" is fun then it will be fun. And today my team was fun. Haha.

Tomorrow's plan.... School. Got UT and I havent start reading my presentation slides. Having computing and maths module. yada yada2. Programming and crap. What I will do is do the programming and then presentation talk abt the codes and then play game. haha. Cool or what. I just need one book to make wonders. My elecrical and digital notebook. haha.

After school there is training. Wonder how many rounds to run. its 1.6Km per round. Monday ran 3 round. Tomorrow up to 5? haha. I can't believe that my stamina is still somewhere there. haha. Just keep focus. Mind over matter at the end of the day.

I just hope that I will stick to my plan. Stick to my words. And be a man of my words.

o_0